Tuesday, March 17, 2015

A treatise on cupcakes and identity politics

I went to school in Europe for a year, and the most important thing I learned while I was there is that Europeans hate it when Americans claim to be other nationalities. You know the thing we do, where a moderate helping of Gallic ancestry makes you "French," or, say, that a smattering of Scottish blood obviously means you are descended—loosely, of course—from Rob Roy.

My family says we are.
I learned this the hard way, by making a similar statement to a new Scottish acquaintance and having her look at me like she'd suddenly discovered gum under the doorknob.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

The One Where We Dream About Our Future as Entrepreneurs

Katharine  3:29 PM
Did you hear about that Maine bed and breakfast that you can win with a 200 word essay?
Stephanie  3:29 PM
No, but if you win it, I will move and help you run it.
We can be whaler's wives.
Katharine  3:30 PM
I suspect they might be looking for someone who doesn't actively hate domesticity
Stephanie  3:30 PM
You don't know that.
Katharine  3:30 PM
Educated guess
Stephanie  3:30 PM
They could be looking for someone who wants to make a difference. Shake off the "stuffy B&B" stigma
Katharine  3:31 PM
It would be interesting to run a B&B known for its unmade beds, scuzzy bathrooms and breakfasts consisting of like, one giant pancake per diner.
It's like the baby of a B&B and a hostel.
"Katharine's Hostile Bed and Breakfast"
Stephanie  3:32 PM
The beds would be made, they would just be made like, by pulling up the mismatched blankets and calling it good.
Katharine  3:32 PM
You are overestimating my bedmaking
Stephanie  3:33 PM
You don't ever just pull up the covers just enough so the cat hair mostly stays on the outside?

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Things We Said

Stephanie  10:31 AM
I'm just saying, no one want to be the Beezus.
Katharine  10:31 AM
The world needs Beezus


Katharine   3:23 PM
Thanks for the zinc tablets. I just swallow them with water, right?
Stephanie   3:24 PM
You crush them up, heat them up in the bowl of a spoon with a lighter, then inject them.
Katharine  3:25 PM
Well, i just wanted to double-check. 
If I have saline, can I dissolve and inject?
Stephanie  3:25 PM
I mean, it's ZINC.  How else would you take it besides heating it up in a spoon and injecting it?
Katharine  3:25 PM
So...swallow with water?
Stephanie  3:26 PM
Or you can also crush it up and mix it with cheez whiz, then lick it off your hand.
Katharine  3:26 PM
I'd have to go to the store though
Stephanie  3:26 PM
Peanut butter would work, too
Or you can just shove it into a piece of hotdog and swallow it whole.
There are a lot of options, really.
Katharine 3:29 PM
I will not be compared to a dog, even in jest, Stephanie.